Tuesday, January 21, 2014


Frozen is the latest animated Disney flick.  It's also a musical.  It's also a movie that contains a living snowman of subnormal human intelligence, a character for whose death you will pray.  It has a cast otherwise entirely comprised of white characters of purest Aryan blood and blandest American personality (oh wait, there's a sentient reindeer).  Its songs are pure agony.

According to a popular website, 89% of American film critics are favorably disposed toward Frozen, as well as 90% of the same website's users.  It has made a third of a billion dollars in the US alone, and that means it ain't just kiddies going to see it.  It had been a while since I took my niece to the movies, so I thought, "the hell with it, let's go."

Here's the movie in essence:  there's two nice girlie princesses, one of whom possesses the X-man like power to manipulate ice with her brains.  The other one is her normal sister.  Some shit happens and they have to magically erase the normal sister's memory for some reason, and the ice princess for some reason isn't allowed to show off her super powers any more.  The parents fucking die and the sisters are on their own.  Later, the older sister comes of age and is getting crowned queen.  During the ceremony she freaks out and freezes the whole kingdom, then runs off and builds an ice castle up in the hills.  The little sister goes hunting for her and runs into a big handsome guy who helps her out.  They don't like each other at first, then they like each other, etc.  The fucking snowman shows up, along with some villains who capture the ice queen.  Some more shit happens and the good guys win.  They don't kill the villain because they are nice.  They don't kill the snowman because the filmmakers hate us. 

Thematically it's harmless.  It tells the kiddies, uhh, "don't give up on your loved ones," I guess.  Too bad it had to be expressed with such banality and lack of imagination.  And those fucking songs. Ugh.  

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